I Sometimes Watch
by Lucky Meryl
Summary: I sometimes watch her sleep, cook, smile, work. I can't help myself. I love to look at her. She's...everything. Fluff. 1st person POV of Kyou.


I sometimes watch her sleep. Climbing from my window to hers, I look through a small crack between the door and the wall just to watch her sleeping so peacefully in her bed. Her big blue eyes shielded from the crack of light emitted from the moon beneath her eyelids. I never once go inside, though.

I sometimes watch her cook. The steam from the soups she makes dampens her face, making her look slightly sweaty. Her hair becomes moist and clings to the sides of her pale face. Her hands work so diligently on trying to satisfy me and the other members of the household. Sometimes I leave out the phrase "and the other members."

I sometimes watch her smile. Just to see her so happy fills my heart with an unexplainable emotion in which I once thought of as a cage. Now I see it as my own freedom. This feeling I get when I see her…sends me to a short state of paradise that I cannot feel anywhere else.

I sometimes watch her in class. She works so hard on whatever assignment we've been given, her mind focused on that piece of paper. Sometimes I long to see her so focused on me. To see her so determined all for me. But that's never going to happen.

I sometimes long for her. I long to hold her in my arms, and not transform into an animal. I long to feel her hands in my hair and know that it's only that on my head an nowhere else. I long to lay down with her against me. And most of all, I long to feel her lips against mine. Unfortunately, this curse will never allow that.

Damn this curse. Why did I have to be born into this family? Born into a family that shunned me in former lives. Born into a family that cannot hold a member of the opposite sex. Damn this family.

* * *

****

I watched her sleep once again. This time daring myself to open the door even more. The moonlight shined on her whole face. Her eyes still closed, her lips in a soft smile. She looked so peaceful. If possible, she looked happier than she did during the day.

She moaned lightly in her sleep. The sound of her voice echoed in my mind. How I loved that voice. I loved hearing as she said my name. No formalities attached. I slid the door a bit more, admiring how her chest heaved up and down with every breath. Then I did the most daring thing I ever thought of, I stepped inside.

The door was wide open now, the room bathed in moonlight. Walking over to her bed, I kneeled beside her. Pushing her hair from her face, my finger tips brushed against her cheek. I stopped, wanting to savor that feeling of her face in my hand. I heard the wind outside, blowing against the trees, snapping me out of my dazed state of mind.

I felt as she moved beneath her sheets, and I dashed from the room, making it back to my own before I heard her wake up and close her door. I was almost caught.

* * *

****

I sat in the dining room, watching from the open doorway as she made different entrée. She walked over to the rice cooker, opening it to take out the fluffy grain. As vapor erupted from the cooker it blew against her face, covering her in a sheet of steam. Her hair clung to her face like it always does. I stood up, walking into the kitchen before I could stop myself.

"Tohru…" I whispered. She turned towards me, smiling that beautiful smile of hers.

"Yes Kyou?" She looked at me, her big blue eyes gazing at me.

"Do you…" I started. _Do you know what your smile does to me? Do you know what you do to me? Do you…_ "Do you need any help?"

She smiled again. "No. I'm just making rice balls again. Thank you though!"

So cheery. How can she be so damn cheery! I wish it'd rub off on me. But nothing from her can rub off on me.

* * *

****

We were walking home from school again. The damn mouse as well. I can never be alone with her with him there. I shot him a glare above her head. Neither of them noticed, however. I looked back down at her, her hair bouncing with each step.

I followed the rest of the way just gazing at her. I felt rat-boy glare at me once or twice, but I didn't care. All I cared about was her.

We got home at the same time as usual. The rat going to his room, and me going to mine. She went to the kitchen to prepare dinner. I stopped at my door. Wondering whether to go in, or downstairs. Finally I chose.

Downstairs…and outside.

* * *

****

I went back to that place. The place where she saved me. I was in my hideous form, and she was scared. I ran my hand across the rock my nails dug into, sitting down on the rock next to it as I had before. The entire scene played in my head. I hugged her afterwards, not caring what I'd turn into. I was so grateful. But now…now I want to be able to stay myself when I'm with her. I want to be able to hold her for hours on end.

Damn.

I sat there thinking on the many horrid things that'd happened in life that she was there for. I was probably there for an hour or so before I heard her calling out from the house.

"Kyou! Dinners ready!"

I walked back towards the house, if not to eat, just to see her again. On my way, however, I found her.

"I thought you'd be here." She smiled softly. "You come here a lot lately."

I nodded, not knowing what else to do.

"Do you…regret that day?"

I thought for a moment. Regret what? Changing. That wasn't my fault. Hugging her? Definitely not. Hurting her? Of course, but she knew that. However, the entire day? "Yeah."

She took my hand. "Don't." I looked at her as she told me, "Don't regret anything."

My eyes widened as I realized exactly what I regret. Taking her other hand in my own I told her. "I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"I will always regret. As long as I can't hold you…I will regret."

Her eyes were wide in shock. "Kyou."

I started forward, wanting to finally kiss her. I could feel her breath on my lips, her mouth open slightly. Her hands fell from my own as she leaned back against the tree behind her. I placed my hands above her head. My lips barely pressed against hers in an almost-kiss as I felt her arms on my back. My eyes widened again. _Why?_ Her eyes were still closed, I noted, everything happening in slow motion. Before I knew it, I was in her arms, my clothes at her feet, and my **paws** on her shoulders.

"Kyou…" tears formed obviously in her eyes. "I'm sorry…I forgot."

I shook my head. "Don't. Don't regret. Don't be sorry."

She held me close as I snuggled into her chest. "I love you…Tohru…" I said falling asleep.

"I love you too…"

* * *

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Note: This is my first Fruits Basket fic. And I have to think for being a host to the series! I think Rosesan, on you for being the one to post the episodes. And I think Naruke for giving me information on the manga that I could have messed up this little oneshot without. Well review please!

DPA(pyro)


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